(instead of introduction)

For those who know me, talking about certified exams for language proficiency was almost blasphemous, because I never believed that they guarantee actual proficiency simply because someone holds a certificate – I have seen many such examples. I have always thought that if someone needs to know my level of proficiency, I can prove it via conversation or writing.

But then I had a problem that many people probably face when learning a language without a teacher – it becomes really hard to determine your level or even whether you are improving at all. For that reason, this year I decided to test my Japanese proficiency level and applied for JLPT N5 (N5, roughly corresponding to a beginner level). It was somewhat stressful because, against my belief, there were so many people taking the exam, and many of them knew each other – they were either in some Japanese courses together, high school students studying Japanese, or even university students majoring in Japanese. Without getting into details, the exam was over, and I was unsure of how well I did.

A month later, when I saw my results, I was so happy to discover that I had passed! The joy of this achievement was actually not so much about the certificate itself, but rather the fact that I succeeded because I learned Japanese with endless curiosity and love. While waiting, I realised that no matter the results, I would still pursue learning the language with the same enthusiasm just because I enjoy it wholeheartedly. I was almost sure I failed the exam, but the fact that I passed helped me realise that when I do anything with love and inspiration, I would be satisfied, regardless of the outcome. That was the first crack in the Impostor Syndrome* I had always felt was there, but never actually considered seriously. After that small victory, I slowly started considering being more open about other activities that I pursue with love and a genuine spark (the reason why this blog is alive).

The moment you pursue your dreams without much thought of the results, you will be happy, because then you can’t lose. From a psychological perspective, this idea is closely related to the concept of Flow state**. Having the audacity and courage to do what your inner drive leads you towards is a big enough reward to act.

Thus, this blog – or more specifically, sharing my thoughts and art– is an activity I truly love. The topics that I have planned, and those that will further intrigue me, are all inspired by activities that I intrinsically enjoy! This is the only reason I think it would be somewhat interesting to see how my own world, confined within limits of words and articles, would interact with the world outside it. No matter the results, I expect this experiment to be enjoyable and hope it will be for you too!😊

* According to the American Psychological Association, Impostor Syndrome is: “the situation in which highly accomplished, successful individuals paradoxically believe they are frauds who ultimately will fail and be unmasked as incompetent.“ (American Psychological Association, 2018).

** Flow is: “a state of optimal experience arising from intense involvement in an activity that is enjoyable, such as playing a sport, performing a musical passage, or writing a creative piece. Flow arises when one’s skills are fully utilised yet equal to the demands of the task, intrinsic motivation is at a peak, one loses self-consciousness and temporal awareness, and one has a sense of total control, effortlessness, and complete concentration on the immediate situation (the here and now)„ (American Psychological Association, 2018).

Sources:

1. American Psychological Association. (2018). Impostor phenomenon. In APA dictionary of psychology. Retrieved September 12, 2026, from https://dictionary.apa.org/impostor-phenomenon

2. American Psychological Association. (2018). Flow. In APA dictionary of psychology. Retrieved September 12, 2026, from https://dictionary.apa.org/flow